Last week I took the written test and today it was the turn of the driving part. I didn’t want to get overly confident about passing the test; I know plenty of bad habits that I’ve picked up in the 8 or 9 years that I’ve been driving!! On the other hand, I’ve had a year to witness the standard of driving out here …
I made one huge, major, enormous mistake before I even left the test centre. I was almost in tears, it was terrible, how could I have done something so stupid?! It happened during the eye test and you have to read a string of letters similar to what you’d find at an optician … “GEE, O, PEE, EN, AR, ESS, EM, CEE, ZEE, CUE, DOUBLE-U …” I said, open mouthed – shocked.
ZEE!!
Should be ZED! I feel like I lost some major British points with that.
Once out of the test centre I made my way across to the Impala with the examiner. Firstly she wanted me to demonstrate the function of the indicators/turn signals and the brake lights. I was going to pretend to get into the car on the wrong side, but given my overreaction to the whole ZEE/ZED thing a few minutes earlier I didn’t want her to think she was about to go out in car with an absolute fruitcake. Before we set off, we ran through what was going to happen on the test – luckily it went nothing like the driving test in the Inbetweeners …
Apparently the test was going to last around 10 minutes and would take me through neighbourhoods with school zone speed limits and Stop sign, I would also have to demonstrate parallel parking. That’s right – the driving test was going to last TEN minutes. On my first driving test in the UK I think I spent longer than that at one junction waiting to get out of a side road! I was also surprised there would be no route involving a Drive Thru, which is as much a part of driving in the US as being allowed to turn right at a junction on a red light. “Okay then James, I need you to take the next left and then I want you to order a large Big Mac meal with a Coke” … quite lucky really as I’d no doubt fail on the basis that I couldn’t correctly request some tomato ketchup.
The test went without any excitement, and sure enough just over 10 minutes later I rolled back into the test centre car park, “Exceptional driving James, best I’ve ever been a passenger to; you passed!” the examiner confirmed. So we went back inside and I had to hand over all my documentation: Visa, Passport, UK Licence, proof of residency etc. Also had to have my mugshot taken, so no doubt I will now have another piece of ID with a stupid photograph of me on it. It’s interesting that when my height and weight were entered into the database, they were entered on numbers that I told the operator. There was no official tape measure or scales … it’s all done on trust. All I’m saying is I’m going to be the tallest 4’0”, 300lb midget that anyone has ever seen. I even had a mini argument about the colour of my eyes; I always thought they were green but she wanted to put hazel!
That’s pretty much it, I should have the proper licence within the next 10 days or so but in the meantime you’re provided with a printed paper version.
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